Trust- A rusty endangered word

“Do you trust me?” “Yeah baby, I love you so much. How can you even ask this question? I have complete faith and believe upon you. You are the gem of my life. I would rather prefer to die before I think this sort of a moronic question.” “Baby, listen I would be late today. So can’t come to meet you. You know this office work, just pisses of my mind.” “We had already decided about today, right? How can you suddenly say a No? Why do I feel something smoky?” “Baby, my girlfriends called me today. And did you remember, Steve? He is just so excited to see me today. So can you just plan out the supper with your friends tonight?” “Steve? Who is he? Why the hell is he excited? Did you say we are in a relationship? Look, I have complete faith upon you but why Steve? Answer me! And don’t dare to drop my call.”

Well, you must be thinking who are these people talking? Don’t you realize it is the story of none other than us, if not us than probably our friends or somebody whom we know or have heard about. Another point, those people who are just into their relationships, might not agree with me as you would ‘prefer to die before addressing your trust as rust.’ And when I say this I am not being patriarchal that men are the sufferers. Women too have suffered and often are being taken ‘granted’ by men. Don’t ask me to quote the percentages for who suffered the most. I believe psychological surveys are not accurate enough nor do I have a lie detector.

Coming back to the central topic, I want the readers to think, why the word ‘trust’ has started to ‘rust’? Sadly, we can’t even say that when iron and oxygen reacts in the presence of water or moisture in the air, trust starts rusting. If both of them were human beings we could have thought blaming them but sadly inanimate objects don’t resort to the ‘blame-game theory’. 

Do priorities change with the changing times? Are emotions so temporal that even a breeze can blow away your house? Is a single bad instance sufficient to forget the 100 good memories? Do promises also come with ‘conditions applied’ labels? Can’t imperfect things exist in this earth? Why craving for the best? If you have something good can’t that be made ‘the best’? Why lie if you have committed a mistake? Why not truth and a promise to not repeat it? Why raise your voice and speak, when a smile can even sort out the problem? I tell you; those 14 muscles of your cheeks are enough to do the trick.

Relationships are always based on trust since time immemorial. It is the founding stone for any kinship. ‘I promise you’ has a value, isn’t it? Interestingly, ‘I love you’, ‘I trust you’, I have complete faith in you’, ‘I can’t live without you’ are mere decorative situation based emotional sentences mostly spoken to enchant the other person. Trust somehow rusts because of these confusions.  As in Tracy said, “Ron, what I said was true and correct. But, things have changed now. Now, the truth is I don’t have faith. You are a changed man.” Now let me analyse what Tracy actually meant. Her feelings are for Ron. But not for the present Ron, it was for the person a year back. Sadly, Ron is a living entity. And when somebody promises about anything, aren’t ‘changes’ also to be taken into consideration? In fact my inanimate one year old Teddy Bear has also become dusty which needs cleaning.  You might be thinking, I am favoring Ron but let me tell another thing. He said, “Baby, you are the only girl in my life. I need nothing but just you.” The paradoxical statement of Ron’s mind after six months was, “Baby, you are the only girl who keeps fighting with me. I need my time and space.”  Whom would you categorize as right and wrong?

I call trust an ‘endangered’ word because it is fading away. I know the theory of ‘unconditional’ isn’t always possible but why speak merely to comfort? Why controlled behavior mechanism everywhere? Are we so scared of ourselves to get exposed or our minds have become dirtier? Our home or our friends are not the corporate office staff members to whom we need to afraid of or fear about the way and mechanics of our etiquette.

I love to watch that young girl jumping in the puddle of water forgetting everything and enjoying the sensation. Somebody asks me to do it and my first response, “Oh! I am a grown up man. What would the people around me think?”  Grievously, we live a very bewildered and panic stricken life worrying about too many factors resulting in complicating our own self. If you trust, love or hate somebody do it worthily. My trust or love can’t be based on the opinion of what the other person feels. If your mother said once ‘Get out of the house, you good for nothing creature’, would you go away? Would you hold grudge in your heart?

Trust can actually never rust. If trust has rusted, it means it was never trust. If you break gold into pieces, it is still gold. Elements are pure substances. Similarly trust holds purity. So the next time, you say, “I trust you” hopefully you would think once and not get swayed down by unnecessary infatuation.

“You see, you close your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see; you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too--even when you’re in the dark. Even when you are falling.” 

Love- “An undefinable emotional subjugation”

Love is an emotional, psychological and an innate feeling which humanity has expressed it through their works since ages. It is such a concept which can never have an exact definition. Shakespeare in his famous sonnet 116 said,

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds 

Admit impediments.”

Shakespeare meant that, it's not truly love if it changes when it encounters difficulties. This poem eloquently reflects how divorce makes a mockery of the wedding vows, which pledges unconditional love. Shakespeare itemizes what people who are really in love do not do, they don't change. Their love remains strong even when they face difficult situations. Along the same line, he described the concept of true love. It's constant, unmovable and reliable. It's not weakened by difficulty or hard times. Finally, love is not bound by youth and beauty. Your loved one remains true even when you're no longer young and pretty. Love is forever.

Since the Industrial Revolution started in England at around 1750, humanity never looked back. We wanted development, money, power, every comfort and luxury but lost sight of some values which was comparatively much more precious and important-“Love” Love according to the definition of modern age would be either merely an attraction for the opposite sex, selfish desires or simply lust. It isn’t that the selfless love which was conveyed by Shakespeare has vanished totally, but when we talk about generalizations probably this definition would definitely make much sense.  

A very interesting concept which has emerged in the 21^st century is “loneliness” Surprisingly; this psychological trauma was never experienced in the earlier days. Humankind was much affluent and acquainted with moral values and had affection towards each other which has become a missing element in our modern life. We, the people of modern generation have been taught to earn everything. In fact, love, happiness and affection can also be amassed. How? The answer is Money. Is it genuinely that love can be earned? Can defeating others give satisfaction? Can the concept of happiness be understood without learning the art of sharing? The day mankind understands these concepts; that day he could be called as a complete rational being.

Another vision that comes in my mind is, does love has an antonym? How can humanity forget the celebrated word- ‘hatred’? Love poured in the glass of humanity where affection, care and selfless conduct prevail can never have an antonym. Probably, this kind of a world where discrimination and abhorrence doesn’t survive won’t be possible to create, but my question is can’t we stop dividing ourselves? Boundaries between nations were created for administrative convenience but was there any need for a border line to be created within our heart? Religion was initiated in order to instill values, code of conduct and morality in human beings but was there a need to fight communally on it? Why a religion even had to be divided on the basis of castes and sub castes?  Isn’t love becoming some sort of an endangered word which is marching towards extinction?

The richest person in the world, Carlos Slim Helú, a citizen of Mexico has a net worth value of 69billion. Another statistical figure reflects that nearly 15 persons die every minute in this world due to hunger. What array of development are we talking about where poverty prevails more than anything else? A child of merely 4-5 years is weeping ahead of us as she needs a loaf of bread to fill her empty stomach. What is the 1^st instinct that generates in us? The immediate feedback would be how to avoid and run away from the situation. Where have we lost our humanity where only the word “Me” exists? Mother Teresa devoted her entire life to humanity. There were people who didn’t understood her language as she was an Yugoslavian but does  love really need any language to be communicated? It itself is a language which is understood globally. Eventually, we all are human beings with the same scientific name and can’t ignore the fact.

Humankind today is hustling after love. Every one of us wishes to have a “Romeo” or a “Juliet” in their life. Love itself is such a colorful word with multiple shades in it that nobody can remain untouched from it. But, to be a true lover, you need to be a “giver” not a “scrounger” Every form of love demands sacrifice. It actually glorifies the meaning of love adding pure divinity to its meaning. The society we live in has fabricated us in such a manner that self-centeredness is a part of our behavior. This approach towards life can never hatch happiness in our life as I recall the applauded lines of Dalai Lama,

“Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions.”

Love according to me isn’t merely a feeling. It is the glittering sunshine which makes me smile. It is the adrenaline rush in my blood which adds spice to my life. It’s the twinkling hope in my heart which says, that mankind would one day surely understand the true notion of love.

People- Unsolved Jigsaw Puzzle

Any species that has amazed me are none other than us- “The Homo Sapiens. We have dignified ourselves with so many titles glorifying as the ones who are primarily responsible for development and modernity. But I have somehow failed to understand this magnificent category.  I feel either I am an alien or maybe I have a primitive mind with a modern body.

I can remember one instance of my life from the first day of Standard I. My father used to be a very strict person when the subject matter is studies. I was so afraid of him that I didn’t even dare to cry when he was around as I felt I might be punished if i didn’t have a genuine reason for my tears. As we approached school, my father said, “Don’t cry, you are a boy and always speak the truth or else God will punish you by shortening one of your leg.” I moved ahead with a very puzzled mind gazing all around with suspicion and ended up entering the wrong division of my class. During attendance, I noticed Ma’am didn’t utter my name for Roll No. 20 yet I hardly had any courage to stand up and ask her regarding the same. The final bell rang after a confused day and I hastily ran out of the classroom to find my father. I experienced exquisite joy as I found him standing near the gate of my school. Quickly, I said him that I entered the wrong classroom and he gifted me with a solid slap served with a few harsh words. Puzzled was I, astonished was my face. That instant I felt, if I had resorted to falsehood God would have appeared to shorten my leg. On the contrary, truths if not sugary enough for the receiver are also not accepted, giving you vinegary results.

This incident isn’t any major event nor my father was wrong but as a child I started censoring and speaking on occasions where I felt I could be punished. Many of us still experience it as well, ultimately leading to confused personalities. I call it ‘confused’ because the heart might be malfunctioning and seems to apply practicality or logic to every situation. The mind is our computer. The heart is the user for this computer. The computer mind gathers and remembers all the things we have learned. It relies on past experience and past knowledge to make its decisions. The mind cannot make decisions without the consent of the user. The computer mind is cold and lifeless. It has no idea what to do with a previous program installed in it until the user commands it, which is the heart. Here, exist the problems. The user is bewildered whether he should rely on his consciousness or ‘play safe’ by using an approach that fulfills the guidelines and rule book of the society which has its own definitions of logic, rationality and a future secured methodology. The result that follows is aloofness, irritable nature and a “Battle of Buxar” fought within the person’s self every day.

 Jigsaw puzzles and riddles can be solved because they are mere entities which have a systematic approach to untangle. They are strictly a single unit which has no after-effects or contributory cause and effect relationships attached to it. The heart is the very center for our life. We can say that the heart is the home or residing place of our soul and our Higher Self. Our Consciousness resides in the heart, not in the mind. Consciousness looks through the window of the mind and makes choices. Consciousness in the heart is the user of the computer mind. The heart feels and intuits our direction in life. These feelings generate ideas and inspirations in our mind that we can act on.

So, before we solve any other riddle, let’s try to solve the unsolved jigsaw puzzle within us. The question still remains probably, are how? The answer is having faith, love and belief upon your consciousness. Make mistakes, do stupid things, smile and laugh upon yourself, enjoy a day without your make-up and think of solving one riddle at a time. I know we are multitasking people but our heart is a little demanding and attention seeker in this case. Give yourself some time to ponder over what you are and you want to become. The rest of the game, let’s play it down ourselves because I believe we are our own specialists. Isn’t It?

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead”.

Oscar Wilde.

Mumbai and Mriganka

 Hello People,
Well this is my first blog. So I am thinking to introduce myself first before I start making any disclosure about my life. I came Mumbai with the sole hope of finding my desired goal or call it realizing my passion. I simply knew that life is meant to be lived not just one day but every single day, every single moment! As a teenager, I had a very simple attitude of speaking what I feel, yes definitely expressive character-ism. I believed in a very fairy tale kind of world. The reason might be because I had left my hometown when I was hardly 15 years old but the people around me which I found was always very good and helpful. This had made me feel that 'evil' is just another word which doesn't exist as much as it is sensationalized.
I still recall that very night when my father and me had reached Mumbai by 1:10 am, so unfamiliar with the people, language and their approach. I clearly remember 5-6 Taxi drivers crowding us and asking whether we wanted to go Dadar or Kurla. We felt like asking what are these? Are they food items, hotels or any places? Yet my father in his usual tone said, "Lets go Dadar. I feel positive about the place." I answered him back in my regional language that it isn't something like, "Lets play Holi, You need to be serious." He smiled and said, "We have come here for you, the almighty is with us and have faith, we would land somewhere very safe and you would be happy." I have never found such a positive person in my life, we do feel like its stupid but to be very frank, both of us enjoyed the taxi ride. I could see tall buildings, lighted streets and people all around. It was my first experience when i realized Mumbai never sleeps.
I had an extreme difficulty in speaking Hindi as I come from a Northeast state where Hindi isn't spoken much. Yet the people accepted me very warmly. I could perceive 'Mumbai smiles when you smile'. My faith on humanity became more firm and stronger. I felt lucky and blessed. Everything was so new to me, the culture, society, city and certainly the people. Yet I was very cheerful and felt pleased because I knew I could learn. I remember watching the sea for the first time at Marine Drives and got swayed away by its beauty and the cool evening breeze. In the very initial days, I did not know what career path would actually be suitable for me as I was merely passing my time away which now feels sad but it was my roommates who used to console me saying, "You are made for something big Mriganka, utilize your talent." I never knew whether it was sarcasm or they actually meant it but I ended up saying, "Yes, Let us plan Alibaug tomorrow, something big."
I was always a free bird ready to explore, learn fresh things and spread smiles and happiness. But, what you exactly wish, doesn't happen absolutely the same. Twists and turns, ups and falls are a part of Mr. Life which he slowly taught me.
So, here I end my introductory blog. My next blog would be on 'People- Jigsaw puzzle'